Parenting,Not Just a Job, but a Never-Ending Adventure

I sometimes wonder if the reason it’s so hard to let our children grow up is not so much the fear of them leaving the nest, but more of the fear of them realizing our own imperfections. When my oldest son was 3 years old he was mesmerized by Superman and other larger than life characters. He would constantly ask me questions like, “Dad can you fly like Superman”, or “Dad can you hold the clouds in your hand?” At a young age our kids think their parents are super heroes and I’m not sure if we don’t somehow enjoy the unjustified admiration. As they grow up the kids start seeing that we may not be the best at everything and that we really can’t leap over skyscrapers in a single bound. Parents are everyday vulnerable human beings who make mistakes but even though that may be true, our children still have to live within our rules.
I always get a smile on my face when young parents show off their precious bundles of joy, that’s usually in the pre-crawling days, when children have no choice but to stay where you put them. I listen as they tell us how wonderful little Billy or Susie has been and all the while I’m laughing inside thinking, oh yeah just wait until they start crawling. You can cancel your aerobic classes for a while.
You put your heart and soul into raising these perfect little angels and then comes the teen years, I think I could write a book on this one. You know those years when the kids roll their eyes and think they know it all. You’re there to fulfill their needs; which is usually just to hand them money. At this age they’re the worlds best at guilt trips and back-talk. They can make you feel like a failure as a parent because it seems that whatever their friends have it’s always better than what they own. Yep that’s the years I’m talking about. Well as a word of encouragement it does get better!
I think one of the best things we did as parents was to insist that both of our kids take part time jobs throughout high school. It not only kept them busy but it also taught them about how far money goes. They were expected to pay for their own gas and to pay for dating; we took care of everything else. The responsibility and money gave them a feeling of independence. They were able to spend their hard earned money however they wanted, ok to some extent, but when they spent it all on that thing they just couldn’t live without, well now that meant that they were broke until the next payday and hopefully they would spend it a little more wisely and even save a little.
I see it every day, parents who for some unknown reason think they need to be more of a pal instead of a parent so as to be cool in their children’s eyes when what they need to be is a guiding force in the direction their kids are taking. Their sons and daughters will thank them one day by how they raise their own children.
As a parent I fully realize we are not perfect and that there’s unforeseen circumstances around life’s every bend and believe me I’ve seen a lot of them. It’s my belief that you always put your children first and raise them to the best of your ability, to be honest and to make good decisions, because one day, they just may be the ones picking out your retirement home!
Just Saying!
Odes Roberts


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You can email me at odeseroberts@gmail.com